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BB1243
: Ho Ho Santa, Hi-Yo Silver
Thursday
20th December 2012
Ho
Ho Santa
This
week's Christmas Special is extra special this year
for three reasons.
Firstly
there is no report for you to wade through, thanks to
the awful, non-festive weather putting paid to our plans.
Secondly,
it includes a comment on identity theft that has upset
a number of us.
The pursuit of Mammon at the
expense of integrity.
Thirdly,
we have a gossip page item revealing how JPL's affections,
last reported in BB1207,
have moved on to a local potential star of the small
screen.
So,
before leading you on to a seasonal horror or love story, let
me wish all BOOTboys
and those who follow our adventures a very
happy Christmas. I hope Santa is kind to you all!
Don,
20th December 2012
Hi-Yo
Silver
The Prussians had a big
army. The soldiers were big. Over six Prussian feet tall.
That's real big. Prussian feet were big feet. Bigger than English
feet. Potsdam soldiers stood over seventy four English inches. Potsdam Giants. That
was the 18th Century. Jack Reacher would have had no problem. Three
inches to spare. Strong. Alert. Fast thinking. Hates bad
guys. Merciless. No prisoners. No problem. Men want to
be him. Women want to be with him.
The US army is different.
Have to be sixty inches. Tom Cruise could join. Seven inches to
spare. Goddam giant. Cruise
play Reacher? Hell of a challenge. Shrunken doorways. Midget cast.
Women want to mother him. Men want to laugh at him. No one laughs at his
bank balance.
Kirkby Lonsdale Child.
Once. Not now. Hollywood. The system. Money talks. Money laughs. Money fills cases.
All the way to the bank.
Reacher sighs.
Walks on. Out of town. Hitches ride to Nowhereville. No
baggage. Nothing except dirty shoes, shirt on back and blue jeans. Just a few dollars in
his pocket.
Not looking for trouble. Trouble finds him. Big men with bad habits.
Small men with big budgets. All the same. Deals with trouble. Takes
bus to Sunset.
No more trouble. Gone. RIP
Who
was that Man? Jack. The Lone Reacher
Who
was that Child? Lee. Hi-Yo, Silver!
Who
Was That Man?
Just
in case any explanation is needed for younger readers
(if any),
The Lone Ranger was first a radio and then TV forerunner of
Jack Reacher. He was an unnamed, masked Texas Ranger who
rode into town on his horse, Silver, and with his trusty
Red Indian
friend, Tonto. Any trouble would be sorted out
and, as he spurred his horse to take him out of
town with the cry "Hi-Yo Silver!", a local
would ask " Who was that masked man?"
and someone would reply "That's The Lone Ranger".
Happy days!
I
had hoped that the distribution of the Reacher film was by Sony
so I could add "No Tonto" and "Nintendo" to
the final two lines..
But it ain't.
Lee
Child, once of Kirkby Lonsdale, is the author of the
Jack Reacher stories.
Who
do you think should play Jack Reacher? Tony says
Liam Neeson. JPL prefers Richard "Jaws"
Kiel from the Bond films I'd have gone for Big
John Wayne but apparently he is no longer available.
Any more nominations?
The
Lyon in the Gym
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If you ever wondered
why John Lyons is James' best (or worst,
depending on your viewpoint) customer at
the Castle Green Hotel gym, now
we know.
John
directed me to a website to see the lovely
lady who looks after his every need whilst
there. Here is the photo that came up. Click
on the picture to see and learn more.
The
management confirms that there's only one
love machine in the Castle Green Gym and
that he is called "The Lyon".
He has been getting bigger and bigger
everyday he attends.
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